Almost 3 weeks old

Miss. Victoria will be 3 weeks on the 31th. She is amazing. The girls are doing well with her. I love being her mom. She had a check up last monday and she hadn't gained any weight but she hadn't lost any. So they asked me to pump and and supplement with formula to try to get her weight up. So I'm doing half and half. She wakes up once through the night. which has been a blessing. I still find it crazy that I'm a mom to five.

Birth Story Of Victoria Addison

I got to the hospital at 6am on October 10th, 2011. At 7am, I was in my gown and getting my IV. At 720am I was getting the pitocin started and being checked. I was at 5cm at that time. I had done half the work on my own before I got there. I was at low dose of pitocin because I was having contractions all ready. At 10am I got my epidural. At 1245 he was checking me and I was 6cm and while he was checking me my water broke and flooded the bed and the doctor. lol. Exactly one hour later, I was having a lot of pressure and ready to push. She was back to back and after I got her head out it was smooth sailing. 4 pushes total and she was born. Followed by another huge gush of water that soaked the doctor yet again and got all over his brand new shoes. lol. Victoria is my biggest baby. Not by much but her head was the size of an 8lb baby. She weighed 6 lbs 11.4oz and was 19.5 inches long. We came home on the 11th at 10pm and she had her check up yesterday morning and passed with flying colors. We are so happy with her. There is my warning call, time to feed a baby. Enjoy the pics and thank you all for everything.

3 hours and 15 minutes until go time.....

Here I sit, I should be resting/sleeping but I can't. I'm wide awake. At 1st I thought it was nerves but now I just want to enjoy the last moments of pregnancy. Tori will be our last child. I want to remember her kicks, the contractions, the moment. I spent so much time dwelling on the loss of her twin that I let my pregnancy slip through my fingers. Here it is October 10th, in less than 24 hours I'll be holding, feeding, changing diapers, and loving a newborn.

I spent the night hanging with my girls. I read them a bedtime story and then the older two decided that they wanted to do spa time with mommy. I got my feet/back/belly rubbed and a face mask too. We cuddled and then I sent them to bed. Ian took advantages of our last night before baby, on the computer. 

My next post will come after the 3 of us get home from the hospital. I'm getting very excited. I can't wait to meet her.

The count down is almost over......

I'm beyond annoyed with everything right now.  I'm sick of being asked if I had the baby yet. Answer is NO!!!! I have family back home that won't be here, so Pics will be posted shortly after birth. People on fb should know that it will be announce when she is here by both Ian and I. I'm too the point where I don't want to get on the computer because of everyone asking. I have shut my phone off for the same reason. I just don't want to deal with it.

With that said. I'm 3cm dilated. As of Thursday she wasn't engaged but she was still head down. If my water breaks I have to get to the ER ASAP because they are worried that her cord will come out first. I'm still contracting but I'm dealing with it. They are not normal now. It is also a good thing that I'm still pregnant because I'm getting over a chest cold.

So when will Ms. Victoria be here......October 10, 2011. I have to be at the hospital at 6am Monday morning. I'm hoping to go on my own but it is not looking like it will happen. regardless she will be here soon. I can't wait to hold her. I can't wait to see her. I can't wait to kiss her forehead. I can't wait to tell her I love her and I can't wait to hear her cry.

This has been a long road for me. A lot of ups and downs. At the end of this pregnancy it will be worth it. Yes, there should have been two. Things happen for reasons that I'll never know. Alexis' friend lost twins siblings and she says that they are swinging in the sky and jumping in to the clouds. Hearing that tonight made me smile. That is what I'm going to think too about Tori's twin "aiden". I need peace and that is it. I have to and I will focus on Tori.

Now in 3 days I will be welcoming my 5th and last child into the world and I can't wait.

38 weeks

Video of Tori Kicking........

38 weeks

I just wish I could get a full nights sleep. I know that if I get some rest that my body will do what it is suppose too. But with all the contractions and the baby kicking in between it just isn't happening. I can't picture being pregnant much longer. I would not wish this on the person I like the least. I seriously have been spoiled by my older 4 girls and the quick easy lasting no longer than 10 hours complete labor and deliveries.

37 weeks 5 days part 3

I'm miserable. All these contractions suck. It feels like my legs are being ripped off like a wishbone. They are right when they say that every pregnancy is different.

37 weeks 5 days part 2.....

Doctor appointment went well. Good thing is all these contractions that I have been having has me dilated 2-3 cm. Now it is just a waiting game. Here is hoping to active labor tonight.

37 weeks 5 days.....

16 days to go and I seriously hope it is tomorrow, well today. My nice contractions that were 2-6 minutes apart slowed down yet again. I can't sleep because they are still 10 minutes apart and intense. They need to do something about this. I'm not sure how much more I can take. What good am I, if I get no sleep. I need to remember to tell the Dr. that her movement has slowed down a lot and that I have been dealing with these contractions and now it is affecting my sleep. As of today, if they were right Tori weighs 7lbs 3oz (roughly).

37 weeks 4 days part 2

Contractions are now 2-6 minutes apart. Just waiting to see if they stay the same. If they do then we will be calling the doctor. If not well then we will see the doctor in the morning anyway. Here's to hoping.

37 weeks and almost 4 days

So I'm still hanging in here and I'm still having contractions. They are very irregular and very intense. Any where from 3-20 minutes apart. I was able to get a nap in earlier. I honestly forgot how tiring this part of  pregnancy is. I'm trying to hold out of going to the hospital as long as possible. I have an appointment on Monday so hopefully I'm dilated enough to be admitted to the hospital. Well that is it for now, I'm going to try to lay down and get some more rest. Hopefully my next post says that I'm in labor.

37 weeks 3 days

The past 3 nights, I have been having contractions. 2 of the nights they were regular for 2 hours and then they would just stop. Then last night they were irregular and very intense. I was able to fall asleep just to be woken up by them a couple hours ago. I also got really sick to my stomach. I really do hope this is the start of labor. I'm not sure how much more that I can take. My bump looks super funny looking. I have honestly never seen it look this way. As this pregnancy comes to an end, I'm just a little sad that this one will be my last. I just wish it was an easier pregnancy so that I would have been able to enjoy it. However, it is what it is and at the end of it I will have a super cute little girl. :)

37 weeks......

No change since the last time I was checked. However, I have been in pain ever since. I'm officially full term. Now I just need her to come. It's 12:39am and I have decided that I needed to pack my hospital bag. I have clothes washing right now, when they are done, I'm going to throw them in the dryer. That way first thing tomorrow morning, my bag will be packed. I need to repack Tori's bag just to make sure everything is in there that I need. The car seat is ready and waiting by the front door. All I need is a baby. :)

36 weeks and 4 days.

If they were right 6 weeks ago on Tori's weight, she should roughly 6 lbs 11 oz. I have my 36/37 week check tomorrow. fingers crossed that I'm dilated more.

36 weeks

Here I am at 36 weeks. As you can see. I have dropped a lot. Miss Victoria will hopefully be here soon. Not a lot going on here but waiting for this little missy to come.

Lately I have found myself thinking about Tori's twin. For some reason, our loss of the twin is eating at me more and more. I don't like seeing twins when we are out. I don't like the word twins. I hear it and I cringe. It makes me mad that Kate Gosslin or however you spell it can carry 6 babies but my body could not carry 2 and that Octomom could carry 8 and my body could not carry two. I hate hearing at least you are still having one and you should be happy with that. I feel like everyone has forgotten about my sweet angel. Maybe I'm being silly. I just don't want Tori's twin to be forgotten.

I am very happy Tori is healthy. I'm beyond happy that I'm 36 weeks. I'm thankful for what I have. I know it could have been worse. I know people that has been through rougher loses than me. I just hate being torn emotionally and I hate being told to just get over it.

I have to say that Ian has been my rock through it all. He has been there when we loss the baby and he was strong for me. When I bring it up, he is there to listen. I'm thankful for him. He understands why this upsets me.

Sorry for the sad post, I just needed to get it off my chest.

34 weeks and counting.......

There has been a lot going on here. I have so much to post and I have pictures to post but my email isn't opening on this computer, so they will have to wait until another day.


The nursery is completely done. Ian did an amazing job on it. I love it. Now all I need is a baby to put in it.

My baby shower was on the 13th of August. All of my best friends but one was here. It turned out nice and we got a lot of nice things. I'm very thankful to have the friends and family that I do. It truly means a lot to Ian and I.

I'm currently taking it easy for the next week and a half because I'm having contractions and I'm dilated to 1. Yes I know to some that isn't a big deal. But for me and my body, it is the start of things. I love being told that it is normal to be dilated to 1 when you have other children. I just laugh because that isn't the case for me. 3 weeks ago, I was tightly closed, so the main show is getting ready to start. haha. The contractions are awful at times, I had them from Sunday night, then by tuesday afternoon they had turned into pressure contractions. With that, I called the dr. office wednesday morning and got an appointment. And that is when I found out that I was dilated.

Just for the record, pregnancy is different for everyone. What is normal for you, might not be normal for me. Just sayin! :p

I'll try to update more but the computer is upstairs now. I'm too lazy to run up and down the stairs to get on the computer.

Yes I'll take a little cheese with that whine.

If you don't want to hear me complain please stop reading NOW..........

So we all know the story, I found out that I was pregnant the day after hubby and I decided to be done having babies. Then to find out it was twins. The awful morning sickness that I had.  Followed by the lost of baby A. My stomach has grown so fast and so big that I felt it and even cried because it hurt so much. I'm already the size I was when I gave birth to all 4 of my girls. How much more can I grow? I have had trouble walking for month now. My leg goes numb for no reason. I'm an emotional mess. My back has hurt since entering the 2nd trimester. I iron is really low. I can't sleep. Yes I know this is all apart of pregnancy but I have done this before 4 times and it has NEVER been like this. I have never hurt this bad. Oh the kicks that i longed to feel, now feels like I'm carrying a toddler inside me. The kicks hurt also and the have hurt since she started moving. I'm ready for October to be here. I'm ready to hold my little girl. I'm just ready for the next chapter in our lives to begin. I'm really just sick of being pregnant but I don't want to jinx myself. I just want m girl to be healthy and born at 37 weeks because I don't think that I can take anymore of this.

But in the end only one thing matters. That is my baby girl. I may complain right now but I know that I will have a reward come october. ALl of this is temporary and once she enters the world, all this pain and discomfort will be gone.

Sorry for complaining just need to get it out. She will be here before I know it.

Our finished painted nursery.

My sweet baby girl.

30 weeks down, 10 more to go......

A lot of things have been going on. We have been super busy with getting the nursery done. I had an ultrasound on monday and I officially have 10 weeks until I meet Miss Victoria.


Ultrasound went wonderful. We found out the reason why I'm so big. lol First thing the tech did was the measurements of Tori's head. I learned two things. One: she has a lot of hair apparently. Two: she has a BIG head. Her head is measuring 2 weeks ahead. Then the tech did the rest of the measurements and her belly and her femur are measuring a week ahead. The girl checked the measurements 3 times to make sure that they were right and they were. Tori is roughly weighing 3 lbs 5 oz as of the 1st. For the first time in any of my pregnancies this is the first time I measured ahead. This mama is having a big baby and I'm scared. I have never done this before. I have my 30 week appointment on next monday, it is with the new doctor so I don't feel comfortable asking her what they plan to do. I might ask if I can talk to my doctor for a second while I'm there. I hope that can be done.

29 weeks

Happy 29 weeks to me. We are almost there. Had my appointment on Monday, it went ok. I'm measuring big, well 5 weeks bigger to be exact. He ordered another ultrasound and that is on the 1st. I can't wait to see my little girl again. This will be the last ultrasound that I will ever have for pregnancy. I can't wait. We had our pregnancy photo shoot last night and I'm loving the proofs that my friend Jessica is sending me. I'll share what I have so far.

Hello 3rd Trimester.

Finally my real update.

In 3 hours I will be 28 weeks and officially in my 3rd trimester and for the final time. Honestly this pregnancy has flown by as much as I didn't want it to. I have already hit the point where I am at the same size I was with the end of each pregnancy. I love how they say that you get bigger every time. For me I have got to this size and popped out a baby. Never any bigger or any smaller. Always this size. So here I am at 28 weeks and I look like I normally would at 38-40 weeks. My belly is growing so much that I feel it stretching and let me tell you it hurts. I honestly can see why my husband, my oldest daughter, my 3 best friends, and half my family still think I'm having twins. Please don't take that as I feel the same way. I just see why they feel that way. I'm freaking huge. I can hardly walk it hurts so bad. I have no idea how I'm going to make it another 12 weeks.

Today I started having contractions off and on all day. If it continues my MIL is on standby to drive me to the hospital. Ian is freaking out because he starts his midnight to 8 am shift tonight. On top of that I had the urge to get what baby stuff I have sorted and ready for the nursery. Nesting????????? The nice thing about that was I was able to sit while doing it. I just want to make it 8 more weeks. That is it. Well that is it for now. I'm calling it a night.

26 weeks

I see the end of this pregnancy in the near future. lol. I can't believe that I'll be in the 3rd trimester soon. Tori has finally started kicking. Its non stop now. I don't think she ever sleeps. The crib came today and I finished so of Tori's diapers. I'm getting super excited. I can't wait to bring my baby girl home from the hospital.

25 weeks.

Its been awhile. Mainly because I have been busy and partly because I have been in a funk. I'll actually be 26 weeks in 3 days. It is really hard to believe. Appointments have been okay. I'm getting huge. I'm still measuring big but the doctor thinks that is ok. Tori has been moving a lot today. She was kicking my ribs. It was annoying after awhile but I didn't complain. I really enjoyed her moving. We ordered her crib last week and I can't wait for it to get here. Actually I can't wait to do the nursery. We are using cloth diapers for Kinleigh now. I actually decided to make them myself and they are turning out really nice. So I started making Tori's too. She has 3 different sizes and total with Kinleighs there is going to be 64 diapers all made by me. I also have 2 gdiapers and 1 goodmama. I actually really like the whole cloth diaper thing. I also like the idea of the girls having really cute diapers. I'll post pics when they are all done. I'll also post pics of the nursery when it is done. I think that is it for now.

21 Weeks Today!!!!

21 weeks down, 19 more weeks to go. I had my 20 week appointment yesterday. It went ok. I love my doctor he has been my doctor my last 3 pregnancy. This time around though I'm really bothered by the experience. The only problem is how fast my appointments go. He is probably in the room 2 minutes tops. Long enough to hear the heartbeat and measure my belly and he is out the door. So if I have any questions I have to get them in, in that 2 minute timeframe. So back to my appointment still measuring big and Tori's heartbeat was around 150 bpm. I'm still trying to figure out why my due date is still pushed back by 3 days. The baby is measuring right on target for LMP. My hips and legs are killing me. I'm experiencing the pain that I would if I was 30+ weeks pregnant. I feel Tori kick maybe once a day and that bothers me. I should be feeling it more than that. I'm having a hard time with losing Tori's twin. I don't know why it bothers me so much. All I can think about is: I should have found out the sex of 2 babies not just one. I should have named two babies not just one, I should be feeling 2 babies kicking instead of just one. I know that I'm blessed with a healthy baby and I should be happy with that, but it hurts me to know that there are the "what might have beens". Then I feel crazy for grieving a baby that I only carried for a short while. I'm sick of being a bag of mixed emotions. I just wish that I was still carrying two babies. Since I'm trying to focus on Tori I want to share this: